you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
do herpes really smell.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
