His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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