hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
