I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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