Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
I used to kick so much ass
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Life is so much better after having sex.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate