She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.