he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
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Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
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I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?