Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?