we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
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Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
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No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.