best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
