my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You were trust falling into bushes
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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