erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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