That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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