# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
