can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
