Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize