You just made me feel so damn special
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
