My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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