Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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