Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
