I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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