Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
