Me. At least after what I've been through.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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