R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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