Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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