it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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