explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
