South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
