Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
