so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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