One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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