You just made me feel so damn special
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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