I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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