You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
