my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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