I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
