This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
