It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
BRING THE BAGELS
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize