At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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