You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
