I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.