what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder