how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?