Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
We should try that some time.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.