I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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