And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
