She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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