Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
