I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
