Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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