...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
