i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
