You're so nebulous sometimes
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize