did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
