did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She's the barista slut.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
40s are totally the cure
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
