my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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