i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
