Girls should come with a carfax report
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
