Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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