I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
