hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
