I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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