I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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