whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Randomize
