Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
