Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
