just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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