So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize