I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i can juggle bunnies
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
jump out the window naked night went bad