I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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