They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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